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Romance Scam Warning Signs and How the Scam Works

· 6 min read · Mirabu team

The surest sign of a romance scam is a request for money from someone you've never met in person, whatever shape it takes: a loan, a fee, a plane ticket or a chance to invest. Everything before that request is designed to make it feel reasonable. The rule that protects you is short, and the FTC states it plainly: never send money or gifts to someone you haven't met face to face.

How a romance scam usually unfolds

The scripts vary, but most follow the same arc.

  1. Contact. A match on a dating app, a friend request, a comment on your post or a message in a game. Nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam in 2025 told the FTC it started on social media.
  2. Love-bombing. Good-morning messages every day, constant compliments, talk of a future together within days. Scamwatch notes that scammers call or message a lot to make you feel special.
  3. Moving off the app. They ask to continue on WhatsApp, Telegram, LINE or text, away from the platform where you met.
  4. The reason they can't meet. They're working overseas, on an oil rig, in the military or with an international organization. Video calls never quite happen.
  5. The crisis or the opportunity. A medical bill, a visa, a fee to get out of trouble, a ticket to finally visit you. Or an offer to show you how they make money trading crypto.
  6. The request and the pressure. It has to be today, and it has to stay between you. If you hesitate or ask questions, they're hurt or angry.
  7. More requests. Once you've paid, there's another fee and another emergency. The UK's Report Fraud service says that for almost a third of people targeted, the fraud lasts more than a year.

Crypto investment scams, or pig butchering

Many romance scams now end in a fake investment rather than a plea for help. The person may never ask you for money directly. Instead, they talk about their success trading cryptocurrency, offer to teach you, and point you to a slick website or app. Report Fraud notes that this kind of romance fraud is sometimes called pig butchering.

The FBI describes how it works: the scammer poses as an experienced trader, coaches you to keep depositing, and the platform shows your balance growing fast. When you try to withdraw, you're told to pay taxes or fees first, and the money is gone.

Investment scams cost people more than any other category of fraud reported to the FTC in 2025: $7.9 billion. The FTC's advice on crypto is blunt: never mix online dating and investment advice, and only scammers guarantee profits.

Gift cards, wire transfers and other payment red flags

Scammers prefer payments that are fast and hard to reverse. The FTC lists wire transfers through services such as Western Union or MoneyGram, gift cards (they ask for the numbers and PINs on the back), payment apps and cryptocurrency.

  • Only scammers ask to be paid in gift cards. The FTC says no real business or government agency will tell you to buy one and hand over the numbers. No real partner will either.
  • Never move money for someone else. If they ask you to receive a payment and send it on, or to open an account for them, stop. Scamwatch warns this can involve you in money laundering.

The one rule: no money for someone you haven't met

However long you've been talking, however real it feels and however sad the story, don't send money, gift cards, crypto, bank details or ID documents to someone you only know online. Scamwatch and Report Fraud both give this advice.

Tell a friend or relative about the relationship, too. Scammers rely on secrecy, and someone outside the conversation often sees what you can't.

If something feels off and you can't say why, Mirabu's Chat Analyzer reads screenshots of a conversation for vague plans, deflection, love-bombing and, from the timestamps, slowing replies. It gives you signals to think about, not a verdict, and the other person is never notified. If you haven't checked their photos yet, our guide on how to tell if someone is catfishing you shows how.

If you've already sent money

You're not to blame, and acting quickly can make a difference.

  1. Stop paying. Scamwatch warns that scammers will keep asking for as long as you keep paying.
  2. Call your bank or payment provider now. Tell them you paid a scammer and ask them to stop or reverse it. The FTC's checklist covers each method: the number on the back of a gift card, the wire transfer company, the crypto exchange or ATM operator. In the UK, 159 connects you safely to most banks.
  3. Keep everything. Screenshots of the profile and chats, usernames, phone numbers, transaction dates, amounts and wallet addresses. The FBI asks for these details when you report.
  4. Report it. In the US, report to ReportFraud.ftc.gov and to the FBI at ic3.gov. In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, report to Report Fraud or call 0300 123 2040; in Scotland, call Police Scotland on 101. In Australia, report to Scamwatch and call IDCARE on 1800 595 160 for free help with a recovery plan. Report the profile to the dating app or social network as well.
  5. Watch out for recovery scams. After a loss, you may hear from a "lawyer", "investigator" or "agency" offering to get your money back for a fee. The FTC says anyone asking for an upfront fee to recover money is a scammer, and the FBI has warned about fake law firms targeting crypto scam victims. Scamwatch says 1 in 3 scam victims have been scammed more than once.

Questions people ask

They've never asked for money. Could it still be a scam?

Yes. Some scammers spend months building trust before the first request, and Scamwatch says they can spend years. Watch for the other signs: secrecy, excuses not to meet or video call, and talk of investments.

Can I get my money back?

Sometimes, especially if you act within hours or days. Card payments have more protection than crypto, which the FTC says is often hard to recover. Ask your bank what's possible, and never pay anyone who promises a guaranteed refund.

Should I tell them I know it's a scam?

There's no need. Stop replying, block them and report the account. Confronting a scammer rarely helps and can lead to more pressure.

I feel embarrassed. Do I still need to report it?

Reporting helps police link cases and warn others, and it opens the door to support. Report Fraud points UK victims to Victim Support, which offers free, confidential help on 08 08 16 89 111.

Sources

Related terms: Love-bombing · Pig butchering

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