# What Is Love-Bombing? Meaning, Signs and What to Do > Love-bombing is overwhelming someone with attention, affection, compliments or gifts, usually early in a relationship, often as a way to manipulate or control them. Also called: love bombing, lovebomb, love-bombed Love-bombing is overwhelming someone with attention, affection, compliments or gifts, usually early in a relationship, often as a way to manipulate or control them. [Merriam-Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/slang/lovebomb) defines it as showering someone with excessive romantic attention, flattery or gifts, especially as a means of manipulation. The term dates from the 1970s, when it described how some religious movements recruited members. The US [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/signs-of-love-bombing/) calls love-bombing a form of emotional abuse, and the UK charity [Women's Aid](https://womensaid.org.uk/womens-aid-responds-to-inclusion-of-love-bombing-in-cpss-guidance-on-abuse/) says abusers often use it early on to set the scene for coercive control. Scammers use it too: [Scamwatch](https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/types-of-scams/relationship-scams) lists it among the warning signs of a relationship scam. ## How love-bombing shows up The Hotline and Scamwatch describe signs like these: - Calling you their soulmate, or saying "I love you" within a couple of weeks. - Compliments so over the top they make you uneasy. - Gifts or favors with strings attached. - So many messages and calls that you feel overwhelmed. - Anger when you ask questions or don't do what they want. ## An example of love-bombing *This is an invented example.* On the third day of talking, they write: > "I've never connected with anyone like this. I think you might be the one. I already told my mom about you." By day five there are dozens of messages a day, a weekend away planned, and a cold "guess you're busy" when you reply late. ## Love-bombing vs. genuine enthusiasm The Hotline points out that compliments, gifts and frequent contact are normal parts of getting to know someone. It becomes a concern when it feels over the top, makes you uneasy or comes with strings attached. A useful test is what happens when you slow things down: someone who is simply keen will usually adjust, while someone who sulks, guilt-trips or pushes harder is showing you the real problem. ## What to do if you're being love-bombed - **Slow the pace and set a boundary.** The Hotline suggests talking about boundaries that work for both of you, then watch how they respond. - **Don't keep it secret.** Scamwatch notes that someone outside the relationship can more easily spot what isn't right. - **Never send money to someone you only know online.** Intense affection followed by an emergency or an investment tip is a classic [romance scam](https://www.mirabu.app/blog/romance-scam-warning-signs/) pattern; see also [pig butchering](https://www.mirabu.app/glossary/pig-butchering-scam/). If you've already paid, call your bank and report it at [ReportFraud.ftc.gov](https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/) in the US, to [Report Fraud](https://www.reportfraud.police.uk/) in England, Wales and Northern Ireland (Police Scotland on 101 in Scotland), or to [Scamwatch](https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/report-a-scam) in Australia. - **Get support if it turns into control or fear.** In the US, the Hotline is on 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. In the UK, Refuge's [National Domestic Abuse Helpline](https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/national-domestic-abuse-helpline/), for women and for anyone worried about someone, is free, 24 hours a day, on 0808 2000 247. In Australia, [1800RESPECT](https://www.1800respect.org.au/) is on 1800 737 732, any time. If you're in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. For an outside view, Mirabu's [Chat Analyzer](https://www.mirabu.app/chat-analyzer/) reads screenshots of a chat and flags love-bombing, vague plans and deflection as patterns, not a verdict. Our guide to [breadcrumbing, love-bombing and ghosting](https://www.mirabu.app/blog/breadcrumbing-love-bombing-ghosting/) goes further; [breadcrumbing](https://www.mirabu.app/glossary/breadcrumbing/) is the opposite pattern. ## Sources - [Lovebomb](https://www.merriam-webster.com/slang/lovebomb), Merriam-Webster - [Signs of love bombing](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/signs-of-love-bombing/), National Domestic Violence Hotline - [Women's Aid responds to inclusion of love bombing in CPS's guidance on abuse](https://womensaid.org.uk/womens-aid-responds-to-inclusion-of-love-bombing-in-cpss-guidance-on-abuse/), Women's Aid, April 2023 - [Relationship scams](https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/types-of-scams/relationship-scams) and [Report a scam](https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/report-a-scam), Scamwatch (ACCC) - [National Domestic Abuse Helpline](https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/national-domestic-abuse-helpline/), Refuge - [1800RESPECT](https://www.1800respect.org.au/), national domestic, family and sexual violence counselling service --- Guides on this: - [Breadcrumbing, Love-Bombing and Ghosting Explained](https://www.mirabu.app/blog/breadcrumbing-love-bombing-ghosting/) - [Romance Scam Warning Signs and How the Scam Works](https://www.mirabu.app/blog/romance-scam-warning-signs/) Related terms: [Breadcrumbing](https://www.mirabu.app/glossary/breadcrumbing/) · [Pig butchering](https://www.mirabu.app/glossary/pig-butchering-scam/) · [Catfishing](https://www.mirabu.app/glossary/catfishing/) [Check it with Chat Analyzer](https://www.mirabu.app/chat-analyzer/) · [All terms](https://www.mirabu.app/glossary/)